Why I chose a support group

        April, 19, 2004, The day my son died. It will always be the worst day of my life. We went from, being expectant parents to being bereaved parents in the course of a few hours. Instead of making baptismal arrangements we were making funeral arrangements. It was literally the end and beginning of my life. The end of the life I had led, the life I had known for 29 years. The life I was comfortable with. The life I loved. For a while I thought it was the end of my happiness, hope, faith and future too. Part of me died with Derek. Then I went to a support group. Specifically, this support group, HANDS.
      The first meeting was really hard. I sobbed as I told the story of my son's birth and death. I sobbed as I listened to the other parents stories, but, I learned I was not alone. I learned that sadly, the death of a baby happens far to often. As I continued to go to the meetings, I became more comfortable with the story...my story. I found everything I was feeling was normal and there was no pressure for me to get over it. I found the rest of the world did not and would never get it. There is no time line, there is no "end" to the grief I felt and still feel. But, I  learned if I worked really hard to release my grief, I could find my footing in this world again. I could find peace. I found comfort in strangers, that became friends, that became family. I learned that I could move forward and still bring my son Derek with us. I learned I could rebuild my life and embrace who I am now.  Now, seven years later, I am thankful for the courage I had to step into that room full of strangers. I am thankful to those who comforted me and am hopeful that I can comfort others. Joining the HANDS support group gave me a life back, it saved my life, my marriage and my future.
Being a bereaved parent is a secret club, a very sad secret club. We owe it to ourselves to band together, to support and love each other. We are the only ones who will ever know the depth of the grief and longing after a child has died. We need to embrace our fellow bereaved parents and help lead them to the road of peace without forgetting our children.


http://alivehospice.org/blog/2011/08/18/10-good-reasons-to-join-a-grief-support-group/

http://helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm